I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
