Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize