I want to have your abortion
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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