dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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