She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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