i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
