and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
