I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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