Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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