i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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