So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize
