return my video game
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
