Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
