the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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