whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
