Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
