Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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