Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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