I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
