I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
