well you can't waste a boner
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
