didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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