I bet he comes in French.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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