So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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