Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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