you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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