she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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