Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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