Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
