my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
