So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
