i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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