are you still at the devil's house?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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