woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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