I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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