god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
