im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
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I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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