he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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