he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
