On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize