Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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