I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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