The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The air was thick with penises
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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