So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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