omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
