I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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