My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
