drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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