i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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