It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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