I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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