No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
