this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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