I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The power of my boobs compel you
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
