I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I look better un-naked...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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