I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
