Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Someone signed my nipple.
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