Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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