I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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