Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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