i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
