Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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