Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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