Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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