So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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